I woke up with the opening sentence in my brain the other day and decided to run with it...
The circumstances of my pregnancy are somewhat of a mystery, not only to me, but also to the scientific community at large. Prior to my sudden conception the oldest woman to ever successfully carry to term was almost five years my junior and in a platonic life arrangement conducive to human reproduction. The fact that I was not in such an arrangement (nor have I ever been), and that I was beyond my prime in the reproductive sense (and perhaps every other sense), made me an over night media sensation. Most women would be thrilled by the sudden attention, especially those women who were accostumed to accompanying those more successful than them to various events involving flashing camera bulbs and caviar, but I decisively was not. The sudden fetus, as I was wont to call it, was entirely accidental in nature, and while there were those people who went on to speculate that it was some sort of miracle, they were obviously of the variety who were not accustomed to waking with a sudden growth in their bellies, human or otherwise.
