Despite my total lack of posting since starting my crazy new job, I am terribly happy this blog is here. It's especially useful for days like today when I want to bang my head against the wall and weep because it reminds me that this feeling is not new and that it shall pass.
This time two years ago I started my first teaching job and I was awful. I had no control over my classroom, no control over student learning, and pretty limited control over myself. Today, while it was rough, was nothing compared to my first days of teaching in the NoLala. Sure my kids were a little nuts, but that's to be expected after a day without their teacher who was out with the flu. Sure my kids are having a hard time understanding me, but I'm also having a hard time understanding them. Things are being lost in translation, but we've only been writing this life chapter for 10 days and things are sure to get better.
While I was convalescing yesterday, a student in my homeroom refused to do work. When I spoke to her today she said that she was "wicked upset" that I was out. I apologized but noted that I was sick and that didn't excuse her from work. She then looked up at me with her sad little eyes and said, "no Ms. EH, I wasn't upset AT you...I was upset WITHOUT you. You're the best part of my day."
So I might be a disaster, and I might not be a great teacher for these kids YET...I know that there's one little girl, troubled as she is (though aren't we all), that needs me. She needs me to put a smile on her face with my antics, and she needs me to inspire her to do the right thing.
Now...if only I could reach the other 94 kids...then I'd have something.
